While there are many types of love, most fall into certain categories. Robert Sternberg who developed the Triangular Theory of Love said there are seven categories. Of those seven there are five which most people would consider love.
This is Hollywood movie love. It’s the feeling of being swept off your feet, giddy with excitement, burning in the flames of passion. This is the type of love where you’ll feel a sense of closeness with your partner. While this sounds great, there is a problem with this type of love. Usually this love occurs before there’s any type of commitment. When the newness of the relationship wears off and you’re day-to-day living begins, this love usually fades away.
This is the type of love that leads you to a Vegas drive through wedding chapel. This love leads you believe that the man you just meant is the person you’ll spend the rest of your life with. Like the Romantic Love you have the passion and excitement, but you also have some kind of commitment, hence the wedding. But there is no intimacy. How can there be, you barely know each other. Unfortunately most people realize this the next morning after they’re already married.
This is the love of companionship. This is the love of couples that have been together for years and can’t even dream about being with someone else. They may or may not have the passion. They may not even be that old. But they have a very strong closeness and commitment which keeps their love alive through many things that would break down a lesser bond.
This is not what most people would call “love.” This is the type of love you find with couples who stay together for the kids, or for financial reasons or just because neither wants to be alone. Many times these couples have genuine respect for each other, but they no longer have the emotional intimacy or passion for each other.
This is the love most people are seeking. It is the total package – toe curling passion, deep emotional intimacy and solid commitment. Many times these couples consider their partner their best friend or someone they can depend on. That’s not to say these couples don’t have obstacles that get in the way of their happiness, but they work through them without damaging their relationship.
So which type of relationship do you have? Which have you had in the past? Are you flying high with a romantic love, finding comfort in companionship or maybe you’ve found your consummate love? Remember since each relationship is different, yours may not fall into just one type of love. Relationships can fall into more than one at various times and stages. The point is to know what type of love your striving for and what aspect of love you need to work on to get there.
Wishing you success in life and love,