Don’t let a secret relationship end your relationship with a good man

By Shana Jackson

Are you in a secret relationship? At first it may seem exciting but over time keeping a secret can become a burden. Even if there is a legitimate reason for not letting people know about your relationship, at some point this secret can put a strain on your relationship. Before you get too deep, you need to decide if a secret relationship is something you really want to deal with.

One of the most common reasons for a secret relationship is worrying about what other people think. Do you think your friends or family won’t approve of the new man in your life? Why wouldn’t they approve? You should think about this before you enter into a secret relationship.

In many cases, your friends and family want what’s best for you. However, there are some situations where these people may just want to have control of your life. However, for the most part, if you have a good relationship with your family and friends, they’re looking out for your best interest.

Ask yourself, do they feel that this man will be abusive, or that he’s not treating you right? Is there a reason that think you’ll have a bad relationship? Is there something in his past, that they know about which causes them concern? If they disapprove for any of these reasons, their response to your relationship is natural. In fact, if you hide your relationship from them this may be an indication that you believe in some of what they’re saying.

Why would you hide your secret relationship? Maybe you don’t want to hear their protests. Or maybe you don’t think they’re wrong. Maybe you have your own doubts about the relationship. If you didn’t and felt that your relationship was heading in a positive direction, why would you need to hide it?

However, everyone isn’t always acting in your best interest. Some people may be narrow-minded, and maybe you don’t want to hear their complaints. If your friends and family don’t approve of your man’s age, race or religion, it may be easier on both of you to keep your relationship a secret. However, this is optional; you don’t have to do this, unless you want to.

In this case, you can show them you’re your own woman. Let them know you’re proud of how you feel and who you’re with. By bringing your secret relationship into the open your being true to yourself. You’re also being true to your partner.  And it’s possible that you may change their minds about your relationship. They may never accept an interracial relationship or a relationship with someone different from them or a man who’s much older or younger than you, but that’s their choice.

You’ll find that some family and friends feel different than others. Just because some of your friends and family are against your relationship, doesn’t mean that everyone is. There may be some that don’t want to speak up and express their opinions. Being different isn’t easy, especially if your family is close.

No one wants to feel outnumbered or hear arguments about how they feel. Remember that’s why you’re in a secret relationship. So don’t be hard on the people that don’t stand up for you and your relationship. If you feel that you have a good relationship with a good man, stand up for yourself first. Then hopefully you won’t need to keep your secret relationship a secret for long.

Wishing you success in life and love,

 

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