Relationships: Have A Healthy Relationship With Yourself Before Beginning One With Someone Else

By Kelly Rudolph

So many people are seeking someone to “complete them,” not realizing the key is being a complete person and having a healthy relationship with yourself before you can create one with someone else. The line in the movie, “Jerry McGuire,” delivered brilliantly by Tom Cruise to Renee Zellweger, “You complete me,” was emotional and we all gasped or said, “Awww…” in unison but it was a MOVIE and strictly for entertainment purposes only. Even Oprah mentioned how much that line messed us up and I have to agree wholeheartedly.

When we enter into a relationship feeling like Swiss cheese with numerous holes to fill with someone else’s strength, emotion, expertise or physical ability, we are announcing that we are incomplete. We are saying that we can’t handle life on our own and need someone to help us through it. Granted, everyone may feel that way on occasion but to seek someone else to complete you is a disaster waiting for perfect timing!

We must accept that although we are here to help one another, we are all complete on our own; whole, wonderful (with all of our flaws), human beings here for the purpose of being the best we can be.

When we are Swiss cheese, we attract other incomplete people interested in someone completing them. Those who seek weak, insecure people in order to feel stronger may be abusive (verbally, mentally, emotionally and or physically) as the power-fix is the common goal of all abusers. Not all people who seek incomplete people for relationships are abusive but many are and the others cannot be mentally and emotionally healthy themselves or they would not be attracted to incomplete people.

We gravitate toward people who are similar to us because we feel comfortable around them. So, if you are attracted to people who always need help, take a look at yourself.

How about this? Two complete people come together to form a third entity in a relationship. When they are apart, they feel that they are a “part” of something bigger, not that their “other half” is missing. There is a big difference in being part of something bigger or half of something and incomplete on your own.

8 Questions To Help Determine If You Have A Healthy Relationship With Yourself:

Do you acknowledge that you are a whole, complete, capable person all by yourself?
Do you have a list of at least 5 great things YOU bring to a friendship or relationship?
Do you enjoy quiet time by yourself without music, TV, computer or phone?
Do you relax and enjoy other people without trying to fix them?
Do you get excited about the success of others without resentment or envy?
Do you invest time nurturing your mind, body and spirit?
Do you feel confident as a single person?
Do you like yourself?

Now you have an idea of your readiness for a healthy relationship. If your next relationship ends, YOU and your lessons are what you get to take from it and you want that YOU to be just as healthy as you went into it, except for the inevitable emotional bumps and bruises that will heal.

Take care of yourself, my friend. You deserve it!

To be more positive, empowered, successful, and have greater peace of mind, I invite you to visit http://PositiveWomenRock.com/gift where you will receive audio and pdf versions of “3 Reasons Positive Women Excel at Everything” and invitations to TeleWomenars – empowering conversations for women.

Submitted by Kelly Rudolph, Creator of PositiveWomenRock

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kelly_Rudolph

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