Going on Dates or Dating? What’s Your Relationship Status

Going on Dates Doesn’t Mean You Are Dating

Editor’s Comments: What does it mean when you say you’re dating someone? To some people it means you’re going on dates and to some it means that you’re in the beginning of a budding relationship.

For me dating implies an agreement between two people to see each other regularly. That doesn’t mean you’re in a relationship or heading for marriage. If he’s only going on dates with you every now and then you’re not dating.

What does dating mean to you? It depends on your generation. “Going out” to a middle school girl means that you and a boy like each other even though you really aren’t going anywhere.

“Going out” to a high school girl means that you get into his car and actually go somewhere without a parent driving. By the time you are a young adult, “going out” can mean anything from casual dating in the new “friends with benefits” all the way to targeting him as “the one.”

Clearly dating has many meanings. Dating also has different meanings to men than to women. To avoid disappointment, you need to know what dating means to him. Chances are if he’s like most guys, he can date casually for a long time without even thinking about a commitment.

But if you started reading Bridal magazines after the fourth date, then you definitely have different ideas about what dating means. Without realizing it, you’ll start acting possessive and if he’s a casual dater, it will drive him away before he even has time to consider a commitment.

Rushing to ring shop may cause you to miss a really fine guy. Men like to pursue women – not be trapped by them. When you try to become attached to a man too soon, you might make compromises that cause you to act against your beliefs.

If he’s a real player, he’ll get everything he can from you – sex, money and adoration, but give nothing substantial in return. Men can smell desperation and some will take advantage of it. Resist the urge to find a steady guy when your friends start pairing off or getting married.

Why let your prime dating years go by without enjoying them? Dating is the ultimate “try before you buy” experience. You get to spend time with a man alone and among friends to see how he fits into your life and how you fit into his. If you date different types of men, you’re auditioning them for the potential to be Mr. Right.

It’s not always women who are clingy and presumptuous, either. Men can assume too much too soon and may get possessive about you. Make it clear that you aren’t ready to commit to a monotonous relationship if that’s the case. Remember both of you need to know if you’re going on dates or dating, so always make your intentions clear.

Editor’s Comments: As a life coach, I’ve helped many clients deal with rejection from someone they “thought” they were dating. Many times these men made no claims that they were a couple. The women just assumed because they were going on dates a few times a month that they were dating and began acting like his girlfriend.

If you want to know how to scare off a good guy or keeping a bad one, acting like a girlfriend before you have a relationship is a great way to do it. It’s also a really good way to get hurt. That’s why, before you choose your relationship status, make sure your new partner is in agreement. That will save you time, energy and possibly some grief.