Ending A Relationship – Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

By Shana Jackson

Does your mental to-do list look like this?

Walk the dog
Water the plants
Break up with boyfriend!

Ending a relationship isn’t at the top of anybody’s to-do list, but when your relationship has failed, someone needs to end it. You don’t want to be in one of those relationships that last way past their expiration date, just to avoid the emotions of breaking up.

Relationships can end in many different ways. There could be clothes being thrown out the window, or a text message in the middle of the night. But your goal in ending your relationship should be to end it in a way the neither party gets hurt?

First, be clear on why you want to end the relationship. The first reason that jumps into your mind may not be the real cause of your break up. Get clear on the real reason and be honest. Look at the relationship from both sides. In your discussion with your partner, about ending a relationship, you want to be true to yourself and him.

Set a time for the breakup. It’s better to do this in person, unless distance is an issue. Don’t wait a long time, if he’s not able to get together with you, you’ll need to break up over the phone. Don’t let him put off the inevitable.

Get into a state of compassion. If you don’t want your partner to hate you after the breakup, remember to conclude your romance with love and compassion.

Don’t let him get on the defensive. Talk about the things that you’ll remember about the relationship and the things you’ve learned while you were together. Don’t focus on what went wrong and try not to bring up the things you think are wrong with him. This is not the time for that.

Don’t take things personally when ending a relationship. He’ll be in an emotional state, and when a man feels rejected he’ll say things he really doesn’t mean. Don’t let these things get to you. He’s just trying to hurt you the way he feels you’re hurting him.

Don’t let him make you feel guilty. Remember this is not really about him; it’s about you needing to begin a new phase of your life. It would be nice to be able to remain friends, but that’s not always possible. So, it’s best to remain positive, stick to your decision and remember you’re doing what’s best for both of you.

After your break up your partner may still contact you and try to get back with you. Should you consider making up? Does ending a relationship mean that you’ll never reconnect again?

Going back to your partner in the future would be your decision. If you decide that the conditions are right and that changes can be made that will make your relationship savable, you can work things out. But remember that takes time and effort, and if you don’t want to invest in staying together, it’s best to break up as soon as you can.

Walking away from a relationship is hard. However you’ll feel much better if you’re ending a relationship with a clean break.

Wishing you success in life and love,

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Author: Shoshana Jackson (76 Posts)

Shoshana Jackson is a freelance writer and life coach. While she writes and coaches on various topics her primary focus is on dating and relationship advice for women. For information on coaching services or to ask a question feel free to send her an email or contact her on Facebook, Twitter or Skype using the links below.